


the good in me

by thebriars



Series: climbing vines [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Song fic, maybe a vent????????, this fic is literal shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-05 00:06:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12782571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebriars/pseuds/thebriars
Summary: they bring out the good in him, and john doesn't know how he feels about it.





	the good in me

**Author's Note:**

> based on the piece of gold that is "the good in me" by jon bellion

_1 – 2 – 3_

Three steps from the front door to the first picture of them.

 

_1 – 2 – 3_

Three spoonfuls of sugar in his tea.

 

_1 – 2 – 3_

Three kisses in the morning over the counter, hands buried in hair.

 

_1 – 2 – 3_

Three windows overlooking the city, lights glowing and happy sighs on the balcony.

 

_1 – 2 – 3_

 

Three careful words, hesitant and shaky. _I love you_.

 

_You know that he trusts you and I know that he loves you._

John saw it in their touch. He saw it in the way Laf’s hands brushed Alexander’s as they passed over a coffee mug. He saw it in Alexander’s curiosity around Laf’s golden glow, rather than the fear he’d seen at first. Nothing but trust lay there now, and nothing but love.

_But somehow you convinced me again._

Laf had spent many late nights slipping choice words into his ears, trying to get John on their side. That Alexander was perfect for them both. Eventually, John had given in.

 

_My foundation rumbles and all my morals crumble._

The smile on Alexander’s face in the moonlight. The taste of his skin and the feel of his dark eyes on John. It shook him to his core.

 

_My father’s warnings run through my head._

Years and years of no, no, no had led to nothing but yes, yes yes. Yes to it all. It didn’t keep the voice out of his head, but the grin on Laf’s face was more than enough to drown it out.

 

_Your heart’s a vine that I’ve bled trying to climb._

Who was Alexander Hamilton? A man, a mystery, a storm in the night. He was a sculpture of thorns and ragged leaves, with ink for blood and stars for eyes.

 

_Yeah, you’re making a ruin of me._

He was beautiful and it hurt.

 

_Trying to survive, keep my spirit alive._

John nursed his aching heart on coffee and the green glow from under his skin. Why did it hurt to have what he wanted? It didn’t make sense, and yet there was no stopping it.

 

_But like a knife in the woods, yeah, you hunt down the good in me._

 

But every time he felt himself slipping under and away, there was Laf’s strong hands and their warmth and there was Alexander’s piercing eyes and his small smile to pull him back up. They kept him alive and anchored down in the city lights, stopped him from falling from his cliff and drowning in his ocean.

 

_Like a knife in the woods, yeah, you hunt down the good in me… like a knife in the woods, yeah, you hunt down the good in me._

The waves faded away.

 

_One temptation sparked this._

The crooked grin on Laf’s face, their nudge, their fingers tracing a name into John’s skin. Their lust and John’s care.

 

_Now I can feel the darkness._

The chocolate eyes, wide and intelligent in the morning light. The cautious crinkle of his brow when John tempted a vine from the wall. The horror on his face when the black leaves climbed over John’s hands and his shoulders and his neck. The darkness crept into his vision.

 

_It’s my own fault, but you had this planned._

Laf, Laf, Laf, and their schemes. Their schemes to pull John down into love. And it was working. He supposed that, in the end, it was his own fault.

 

_All of me, you take now, like criminals and shakedowns._

And Alexander’s wide eyes kept stealing and taking and breaking John’s mind and his soul and his heart. He’d already fallen in love, and yet, here he was, stepping out onto the swinging bridge that lead to Alexander.

 

_Yeah, you make me forget who I am._

But the strong hands and warmth and the eyes and the smile made him leave the fear and the black leaves down in the waves, let him climb the cliff again. They let him be happy.

_Your heart’s a vine that I’ve bled trying to climb._

His hands hurt from holding onto them both, the rocks of the cliff sharp as they dug into his palms.

 

_Yeah, you’re making a ruin of me._

He tossed and turned at night, couldn’t bear to tuck himself against Laf when he didn’t fucking deserve them.

 

_Trying to survive, keep my spirit alive._

He found solace in the bottle of whiskey in the back of the pantry. Nursed it like the coffee.

 

_But like a knife in the woods, yeah, you hunt down the good in me._

But they pulled him up together.

 

_Like a knife in the woods, yeah, you hunt down the good in me._

But Laf pulled him close again and held on tight.

 

_Like a knife in the woods, yeah, you hunt down the good in me._

But they hid it better, maybe even got rid of it, let him sob into their shoulder when he felt the leaves start to crawl over his skin.

 

_All of your good is mine…_

And Laf’s smile and their golden glow let him be good again.

 

_All of your good is mine…_

And Alexander’s stacks of books and his caffeine addiction let him be happy again.

 

_All of your good is mine…_

And the Schuyler sister’s harmony let his heart sing a little.

 

_All of your good is mine._

And Herc’s gentle presence let him be steady again.

 

_Like a knife in the woods, yeah you hunt down the good in me, hey._

 

They were three and they didn’t care that sometimes John felt the darkness claw at his heart and felt the monster trying to get out. 1 – 2 – 3. Together.

**Author's Note:**

> hmm okay hi. as you might have noticed, i have a problem. a), writers block is a bitch. b), ragtfy is not yet over. c), the last few chapters of ivy have been shittttttt. 
> 
> heres the plan. i'm going to be writing shorts in this verse as i develop it. i'm keeping up the existing chapters of ivy, but i'm going to be scratching a lot and rewriting almost everything because it's flawed af. thanks for sticking with me and i promise that ivy will take off after ragtfy ends!! love you all 
> 
> <3 rosy


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